I was angry at God

I was grappling a lot with health issues and side effects of treatments that were hanging over me like a cloak… almost like an identity that was stuck to me,  that I could not shake.

I went up for prayer and was asked if there was someone that I hadn’t forgiven. (If I have any unforgiveness that I need to deal with).

When I woke up early one morning, I realised that I was angry at God for allowing me to get cancer to begin with, even though I was at this point free of cancer after my treatment.

I felt like a bit of a “heathen” how could I forgive God? Surely it works the other way around? I went for prayer again, this time at ESCC and asked for the cloak of illness and disease to be off me and taken far from me. I wanted to walk in absolute freedom and in the identity that Christ died for me to have.

This was a turning point in my faith journey, as I am slowly learning to surrender myself daily again.

I admit to understanding Martha so well… I am a Martha through and through always busy.  But I’ve found that there is this desire for more vulnerability, more patience and to just be a Mary and to learn to sit at His feet and just pour adoration upon Him ( I struggle with this). – Anonymous 

*Stock photo used for illustraion purposes